Hey, My Beautiful people in my community! I’ve been talking with lots of ladies recently about their problems in their relationship and that I see many of you are all up in the head going forward than men do…I know exactly why you feel the way you do. You want your emotional connection and fulfillment to be sure that your man is listening to you and there for you at all time. You text him and be up under him all day long every day smothering and depending on him to lead the relationship the way you want. Then you over think and try to analyze everything he said and does when he is not contacting you or away from you. I see many of my clients are worrying and focusing on relationship rather than being center of loving self to make yourself happy and prioritize your emotional connection within yourself.
Meantime, men are totally focusing on what he needs to get done (working or hanging with men friends) and that he believes you are happy with your self and expecting him back to you while he is away from you. This is where I always teach my clients to be centered and focus on self because men need enough space to make a move in a relationship. Your man can take enough breath and settle with his thoughts as you are being receptive and sit back and relax instead of going up in the head over men. Every time when you complain to him about why he is not paying attention to you, he will lose his confidence in you as a woman who he can trust to safely come back to. He needs soft and receptive energy to be landed. And he wants you to stay as a happy completed person who he can always trust without losing his own space, time, needs, and freedom.
So, let me guide you more on this. When you are up in the head thinking and leading the relationship, you are using muscling energy. Just as I always say, you got to leave your muscling energy to the work you do and not to your men and love relationship! Nature made men and women for the reason. Women are to be receptive and men to be the force in a relationship. This does not mean that you have to hold or wait or escape from the relationship. This means to have healthy loving and boundary in the relationship and tell him the way it is to express your true feeling and not to bring out the anger or nag. When you express your boundary and he is not able to follow through and keep disappointing you, you might have to to find a matching man that is fit with your own needs.
Most of the time, men clients tell me that they don’t understand why women are complaining. They have never meant at all to leave her or forget about her. He has his own separate life and that he expects her to well handle her own life as well. So if you complain, you actually push him away further. It’s all about trust and intimacy (in-to-me-I-see) in the relationship. If there are, he is trying his best to make it up to you to make you happy the way you want. Don’t think so negative or focusing on him and the relationship and instead prioritize your own happiness just as your man wishes you to be! So, believe him and trust him to make it up to you because he will if you give him a chance.
Trust me, LOVE will not go anywhere when you believe that you are lovable and that you give total 100% love to yourself. When he fell in love with you at the very beginning of the relationship, he had committed to you and told you that he cares and needs you in the relationship, so believe him! There is no way to break that feeling in him no matter if you break up with him once or twice or more. You weren’t just a friend, you are his love. You are the source of his emotional connection and support and inspiration he needs (when you give him a chance to). He will never forget you but instead, when the time he is away from you, he is working on being toward you as a completed happy man. He is thinking of you and missing you when you are not up in his head all over around him. So trust him in that process of love and love yourself!
I’ve seen many success stories of couples made long-term LOVE relationship and marriage. If you have to work hard and chase your man and be up under him everywhere, this is not that type of the relationship you can keep for a long-term love relationship. You may have his attention for a short period of the time, but it does not make it to the long-term marriage. So to avoid the rebounding relationship, you search for the people who have the similar situation and experiences where both can understand. For example of movie actors and actresses: you see how the powerful couples are working and making money together and falling in love together. And they tend to have the matching rolls and looks that attract each other and many of other. This way, you don’t have to be frightening just to make a relationship work. The relationship should flow easily to get what both want in their life.
So let your natural energy flows in the way you are gifted from the universe and lets him be free and lead the way he wishes. If you are able to trust his process and accept the way it is in the relationship, look into yourself (intimacy) and center your own feeling in the relationship and let the man universe gifted you guides you the way of love. And don’t fight! Next week, I would love to talk about how to effectively communicate with men you love. My busy week begins and I wrote too long on this blog because I love to talk to you guys. If you have any questions, or currently you are having a difficult time with your relationship, send me messages, make a comment, and place a session with me!
To those who are a father, Happy Father’s Day!
Love Coach Riyo 🦕 with LOVE